I sense that you want to make things right, but in the meantime you have to do some research.

But why did they choose Robin Williams anyway? I mean, I like Mrs. Doubtfire and Aladin as much as anyone else, but it is certainly a weird choice.

Secondly, this is the most half-baked ‘plan’ I’ve ever seen in my life.

Here’s what’s wrong with your little ‘to-do’ list:
1. Our country hires a number of diplomats, ambassadors, and yes, even the President, to behave like adults and keep lines of communication open between ourselves and other countries in the name of progress and peace. If one of these ambassadors, or the President, were to announce that the rest of the world could no longer count on any aid from us, we would be reviled and hated by the rest of the world. Behaving like a bratty child and announcing “go fix your own problems by yourself!” would alienate us from the rest of the world, and don’t forget that our country’s economy is dependant on trading.

2. Withdraw the troops from around the world? Not so bad an idea. But station them all at the border to look for people sneaking through the fence? C’mon, seriously? First of all, Mexicans sneaking across the border to work as day laborers are the least of our country’s problems. What, you’re mad because they don’t pay taxes? If they were naturalized, how much money do your really think Uncle Sam would get from them anyway? If you’re making $20,000 a year or less, you get most of that money back in April. Do you mean you’d station the troops at the Canadian border? Because that’s where all the 9/11 terrorists entered the US. Furthermore, would you want to live in a country that has a big wall built around it with sharp-shooters ready to kill anything that moves? Doesn’t that seem a bit Orwellian (or at least like Escape From New York?).

3. Okay, illegals have 90 days to pack their bags and go home. Good idea. The problem: how do you enforce it? Create a Gestapo to go door-to-door checking passports? You’d better bring your travelling papers with you when you go to the store to buy milk. Remember that not every American is a blond-haired blue-eyed Caucasian, and that not every person with dark skin is an immigrant (or terrorist), so it’s not that easy to start picking illegal aliens out of a crowd. You’d only be able to catch these people if you threw away every American citizen’s civil rights. I thought that’s what the conservative right were all about: freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, and the right to bear arms. It’s a package deal.

4. Future visitors limited to 90 days? Well, when does a visitor become a resident alien? You mean that no one from India can come to medical school in the US? No European scientists can come conduct experients in American labs, working for American companies? You’d be refusing to train doctors and holding back scientific progress. Speaking of scientific progress, you know that we granted political asylum to the German Jewish scientists who ended up inventing the H-Bomb, which we used to put an end to World War II, right? Oh, but Einstein would have just ended up as another cab driver, right…

5. It is true that many of the captured terrorists were here on student visas while they weren’t attending any classes. There should be a better way to prevent these visas from being issued. However, a student visa can also apply to a student of religion: a Muslim cleric coming to educate American Muslims, an Israeli rabbi coming to educate American Jews, or an Irish priest coming to educate American Christians. You prevent religious institutions from spreading their Holy word, and there will be an uproar from the religious community.

6. The US should indeed become self-reliant on energy. But a ‘temporary’ drilling in Alaska? Drilling isn’t temporary, that’s the whole point. You can cut down a forrest, and the forrest grows back. Oil does not grow back, and all the Alaskan wilderness that would be destroyed would not grow back - Alaska is already home to many endangered species which would likely be wiped out if we started drilling there, and not to mention that if global warming is to be believed, the eco system up there is already fragile. Pumping out a bunch of oil would not help.

7. Offer Saudi Arabia $10 a barrel? Well, we’d get to hear what a laughing Saudi sounds like. Here’s the thing about trade: if you aren’t willing to pay for an item, someone else usually will. How about China, or Russia, or maybe just a sneaky American private company goes in and buys all the oil that we’re supposed to be refusing to buy, and then sells it back to the American people when the pumps at Exxon and Shell have run dry? We can’t afford to go on an oil hunger-strike, our country depends on it like a drug. There’s a reason why the drivers of America were still buying gas at $3.50 or $4 per gallon - we needed it. If we don’t buy the oil at the $70 a barrel or whatever, someone else will, and then sell that same barrel at a profit. It’s what Capitalism is all about. And you don’t hate Capitalism, do you?

8. This is the most ridiculous of the whole bunch. Really, we’ll just let them starve? That would get those people who already hate our country’s wealth to hate us even more. Let them pray to Allah? Okay. I guess we should have told the people of New Orleans to pray to God and let him figure out how to solve their problems too when the flood hit.

9. Moving the UN to another location is just a strange idea. Suggesting it serve as an illegal alien lock-up is just plain bizarre.

10. I don’t think Americans need to go to charm and beauty school, I think we just need to look around and understand that the world is full of different people, and that we all have differnt ways of doing things, and that the American way of doing things isn’t always the best way. Hey, usually it is! But we can’t be right all the time. Yeah, everyone that becomes a citizen of the US should learn how to speak English. But have you ever travelled outside of the country? Most everybody else in the world outside of the US can speak more than one language. There’s no reason why American student’s can’t also learn Spanish or French or German to the point of FLUENCY by the time they’re twelve years old. But for some reason, our country just doesn’t put a value on learning other languages. And that’s fine. But if you don’t want the rest of the world to think of you and your people as ‘ugly Americans’, then maybe you should bend a little bit and try to see things their way once in a while.

I agree that there should be a better way to control immigration in our country, but that doesn’t mean we should limit it or start turning people away. We are all lucky to live here, and most of us were lucky enough to be born here. We should focus on providing a good example for the other nations of the world to follow, not pulling back into our shell and refusing to talk to anyone who doesn’t want to change their beliefs to a carbon-copy of our own.

A new baseball-bat wielding Statue of Liberty? Nah, I saw we let Lady Liberty stay just as she’s been for the past 100 years.

And by the way, it wasn’t hard to argue with that logic at all.